Well, first of all, let me say I am proud of you for making that step, to live in a student house or having roommates. I personally could never do something like that, especially not sharing a room with someone... only if it would be a h.s.p ... maybe hihihi.
In my case, I am living with my father and brother, which is a big big difference since I used to live with only two women, my mother and sister. I went from living with an explosion of female energy to a house full of ... the energy and habits of mankind... That was, still is really difficult and I am not used to it... So in some way, I can relate, but these two weeks have learned me so much about how to keep your energy balanced.

The first thing that is absolutely a MUST, is having your own space, with your own vibration, your own decoration, the things you LOVE. In a student house, this is easy, usually, you have a room for yourself but if you live with roommates create sort of your sacred corner. For me, my room is my sanctuary, it is the place where I come home, I can relax, I can feel female again! I have my beautiful, energizing crystals, my calm background music (piano ballads, my LP player on, chill out music mostly), my books, my candles and just chilling on my couch by the window, where I can see the moon and the stars (if it is clear of course hihi).
So, first, have your own little-sacred space! :)

Next, I would add crystals to your room/corner. Crystals can heal, help with anxiety, exhaustion and so much more! If I where you I would dig a little deeper into them, they are so fascinating. I always find it funny when people have something like a pain and I hand to them a crystal and they say after awhile "Oh, this is creepy, my pain is feeling less painful". Since I have crystals I feel way more home. The first night I had to sleep in my new room I knew it missed something, it felt cold and absolutely not like a "new home". The moment I moved to my new room (2/3 weeks ago) I brought my crystals, and even though it still was difficult not seeing my sister and mother, as soon as I came in my room, I felt like coming home and hugged by love.
Without crystals around me in my home, I feel empty...  they are life changing. Please Please, Please check them out!



Find the colors that make you happy. I am a colorful person and if you look at my room it is kind of bohemian I guess. Blue couch, red, yellow, fluffy pillows, a warm patterned plaid. That is what I love, especially now winter is coming, I love to make it cozy. Find the style that makes you feel home. 
And find the accessory that resonates with you like candles and blankets if you love coziness... but if industrial makes you feel home opt for an industrial look. DO YOU. To regain your energy the key is to feel home and be able to relax and let go of all doubt.

Before I move on to my last little advice, I have a question, what makes your home Home? Let me know in the comments below :)

Last but definitely not least. Be present in your space, stop with social media for a while and just listen to music, or draw or just look outside, but spent actually present time in your room. The big thing that made me feel home in my room was that I could let go all my emotions and cope with them alone and peacefully without feeling judged or watched. Being able to process what you're going through by yourself, if that is joy, sadness or loneliness, is a way to feel safe and home.

So my loves, I hope this helped you. I wish you a lot of amazing time and don't forget to enjoy and rest.
Lots of love,
Christel Joëlle

An article about emotions of loneliness, what it wants to teach us and how to deal with them.

Loneliness. Causes? Could be anything. Why do we feel this emotion, Even when we know we are never alone, we are connected with nature and the universe? God if you prefer.

Loneliness comes from your inner self. There is a place in you that feels you are missing out on something. That you need that one thing that will help you feel not lonely. You can feel that emotions even when you are surrounded by people because loneliness doesn't mean that you are alone, it means you feel alone. 

And just live every emotion, you should not neglect or ignore it. Listen to it. Feel it. Cry if you want to. Stop suppressing all your emotions. We are not made of steel, we ain't a robot!

I believe that there are a few questions to ask yourself before blaming your emotion of loneliness on others human beings. I am asking you to read these carefully, take your time and be honest with yourself!

Why do you feel lonely?
What has changed, or not changed in your life for you to feel this emotion?
What can you do to stop feeling lonely?
And have you tried to stop feeling lovely by adapting to the answer you just said above?

The feeling of loneliness will always teach you something. This always depends on your situation. I am gonna give you an example... an example of why I have felt lonely for the past few days...

A month ago my mother and my sister found a house in France. My sister wanted to go back to France for so long. It was a dream to live there, with us all three together. but in this house, there would be no real room for me... and I wasn't really sure if I wanted to go back anyway. I also always said that in the Netherlands it was easier to find a job while if France that would be difficult. Now... I don't know, I always assumed it would be that way but I don't know if the Normandie is the same related to Bourgogne job wise...
A week before they left I really took all change to have a moment with my mother. I knew I was going to miss her! So we went shopping and we had gone for a drink somewhere.

The day before they left... I was in my car driving to the house of my brother because that was going to be my new home, and I was crying... The next day went awfully bad. The day after, slightly better... but still feeling down.

I started asking myself: Why? Why do I cry so much? She is not dead, she is just 600km away from me. I will even see her during Christmas which is in 3 weeks! Distance doesn't exist either. I can call her whenever I want. So why do I feel so lonely?!

I felt lonely because I, first of all, didn't felt home. I came home and there was no warm welcome, no one I could really tell my story too because my father doesn't really listen and my brother... well he listens half of the time... but is never really interested. No genuine interest. There is no tea during tea time and the house is 3/4 of the time a mess from going in and out because they are changing some things outside... There is no structure, not in there lives nor mine.
But you know what is the weirdest when I am home alone, and it is only me and my bird, I feel more home then with the guys. I feel freer, I feel organized, I feel better in general.
I miss the warm hugs of my mother and the brutal honesty of my sister. I just miss them. I miss the feminine energy I used to live in 24/7.

I believe that it is teaching me to learn to be more independent. It shows me how I would want my life to be and how I don't want it to be. It learns me that letting go is not easy and I am not alone. I am a very lucky person to able to say that I have 2 very good friends who are there for me when I need them. I have enough money to make sure I don't miss something important. I am a very lucky girl. That is what it is trying to show me. That I may not have it all yet, but that I have come really far, and in a year, I probably will live totally different from now.

The hardest part is always to accept your situation right now (feelings, circumstances, everything) and go with the course of life. I am going to say it again, but I truly love this quote...

" It doens't happen to us, it happens for us"

Lots of love,
Christel Joëlle

Okay... I am having this youtube music mix on, Weekend Relaxation... like... it's Tuesday... Whatever. Not the point of this article. You  We as bloggers only show you what we want you to read/see. And very often we censor ourselves. We write things down... delete it... start over again. 

Today's blog is an article that shows the exact opposite. 

This is what happens in my brain while writing for an article.

Damn this music is really chill.... 

Okay so let's talk about love, okay no forget I said that. I don't really have anything interesting to tell you. but like, people judge people who lost their virginity at an early age but why? It all depends on how the situation is... right?! 

What picture will I add to this article... oh hey another brainwave....

Would that bird still be there? No, what a shame... okay focus again... focus...

Okay, this leads to nothing interesting... I'll delete it all. But what will I write about then? My life? My art? 

Oh, my art that isn't a bad idea actually. I could tell people why I paint? Who inspired me? What they mean! Yes, that is an article idea. 

maybe I should make an article about

Trying to come up with ideas for an article, painting, youtube video isn't always easy... so often, like today, I have a writer's block. And there truly is, for me, no other way then just start writing... and I am on my own experiment of writing, uncensored what I think. Like right now. This is how I get my ideas when I don't know what to write. I just start randomly, and I'll come all of the sudden with an idea... because as I once heard in a movie, sometimes the bad ideas are the one's that turn out to be the best. 

*checking grammar... Oh I am so bad at this...* 

I love fall so much, with the yellow leaves falling from the tree, the burning red of some other trees...

I know this article is so random, but at least I could show you how a process of creating works for me. 

With all my love,

Christel Joëlle  

Listening to: Weekend Relaxation [Jazzhop / HipHop / Chillhop]

And we are back with another monthly journal. Hello November! Nice to see... I mean, feel you! Cold weather, storms and the occasional sunshine accompanied with the northern wind. Welcome back. But October was intense and you, dear November are about to be rough on me emotionally, I know it and I feel it. 

Growing up....
When you are young, you dream about making your own decisions, living in your own home, have a dream job, and living the happy adult life. While growing up I wish the exact opposite. I long for the moments where I could lay in the arms of my mother or father, feeling their warmth, listening to their heartbeats in the evening. Not having to worry about anything.
And I wonder, is it for us, adults, grown-ups able to keep that childish look at life? I believe we can, we just have to figure out how. Here on soon another article that is in collaboration with my mother.
The reason I say November is going to be tough for me is because my mom and sister are moving to France, 6 hours away from me... and I love my mother and I wish I could go with them but I just started feeling home in The Netherland, I got a job, I got friends... I got the rest of my family here...
But I know I will miss my mother and sister terribly...
Things are changing and even though I know I will not be able to turn back time, I know that this part of my life will bring me a lot more knowledge. I know it will not always be easy, but I know that I have internet and mobile phones, and so I can still be in touch with them.
I have said so often "I am not ready for this!" but last time I had this insight... maybe not being ready is the best way to learn. 

Physical Health ...

For two months straight I have been exhausted. I felt mentally and physically tired. First I thought that it was my body who was re-adjusting itself from the fatiguing moments I had at school. But two months later still feeling tired made me worried. I was planning on testing my blood for a long time but I was... scared? I neglected that idea for soooo long. Until my mother planned to test her blood and I decided that that was also the moment for me. The result where negative, my blood was clean. I was so confused... what could it be? I haven't worked, I had no job, I was fully trying to recover. Or so I thought. I came to the conclusion that not doing anything is not good. As humans, even if you are a loner like me, we need to be around other humans. Then there happens this exchange of energies, thoughts, unconsciously. And being with one person can for us, introverts, be very exhausting while going out on our own can be very inspiring and reenergizing. I noticed that working part-time got my energy higher. I noticed that eating healthy, doing cardio and yoga once a week, drinking a lot of water and meeting on the occasional my friends really get me going. And I notice even more that slowing down has brought me far.

So hey, here was a little update on why I have been missing in action. 

Lots of love,

Christel Joëlle