The Last Article

Wauw, I have been blogging for 3 years already! It hasn't been easy but I am thankful for being able to share my thought somewhere. So let's look back on this year together and see what happened.

While everyone is probably saying that this was the best year of their life I don't feel that way. This year was a process of growing up and accepting that this is happening for real and letting go.
Beginning this year I was still a student who hated school, who graduated and finally was free. I had a break for 2 months and I can safely say that that was the best time of my life. I felt free, I felt happy and I finally had the feeling everything was going to fall into place.
I made a big step to decide to start my journey further into photography. Which was definitely the best decision ever! I am a very blessed girl to be able to get the gear I thought was needed for my online study. I am still fascinated by everything in photography.

Making the decision to find a job again was probably the thing that made me the most unhappy. I have a gift for choosing jobs that have super bad organization skills... even the job I am in now is not a job I am gonna stay in for forever. I don't even earn enough now to pay my gas. It is a real struggle...

A few months ago my mother and sister found a house in the Normandië and they decided to move there. I had two options, go with them or stay here. And I still don't know what to do. I don't feel complete without them, especially me and my mother, we grew so close the past few years. We started understanding each other so much better. Sometimes it feels like our lives are parallel to each other only she is older than me.
I don't know what to do because I don't know what I could do in France, but I have the same with The Netherlands.
On the other and I want to start living by myself, but I don't have the money for it, unfortunately. But that is dream that I will try to make reality next year :)

This year was the year I experienced my most happy moments and my most depressed moments. I hit rock bottom a month ago and slowly but surely I am moving up again. I have never stopped learning from my mistakes and I don't even regret them anymore. It's true, I did things this month that I am absolutely not proud of, even though I know exactly who I wanted to be, I wasn't. I could not stand on my own two feet. I am working on that.

I wish 2017 ended with a better feeling, a better note. But it doesn't matter where I am now, as long as I keep on going forward. We all know that quote "It doesn't t matter how fast you go, as long as you keep going and don't stop'. In some way, I do agree, but stopping for a moment and get back in check with yourself is so important.

So 2018, I will keep moving forward, slowly but surely. I will keep on learning and I will find my way. This year I will focus on living my own truth, actually be my own authentic me, and working towards the life I always wanted to live.

What are the dreams you will make a reality in 2018? I would love to know!
I wish you all a happy new year!
Lots of love
Christel Joëlle