This Is Home
08:00:00
There is a place in the entire world that will always
be a part of you, if you lived there or not. It’s a place that when you are there
you feel just at the right place. This is the feeling that I have at this very
moment about La Bourgogne-France.
Deep down, I always knew I loved this place, that I
could never, ever forget this place. I knew but denied it. I wanted to go away
from this place because it reminded me of the moment I was bullied. I was excited; I was going to live a better
life in the Netherlands. If there is one thing that I would have regretted most
about my life is wishing for moving to the Netherlands. God I regret that wish
so much. My life could be bad or could be so positive if I stayed here. Nobody
will ever know.
When I was,for the first time, back in France after longer than half a year, I felt back in love with this place. The calmth, the beauty and the “I don’t care, it will come one day” vipes. We were staying at a guest house, lovely place! There was a lake and you could feel the calmness running through your veins. The evening before we needed to go on the road back to the Netherlands I remember saying to my mum: “I don’t want to go back… I love it here”. Unfortunately we had no choice, my dad was waiting and school was going to start again in a few days.
When I was,for the first time, back in France after longer than half a year, I felt back in love with this place. The calmth, the beauty and the “I don’t care, it will come one day” vipes. We were staying at a guest house, lovely place! There was a lake and you could feel the calmness running through your veins. The evening before we needed to go on the road back to the Netherlands I remember saying to my mum: “I don’t want to go back… I love it here”. Unfortunately we had no choice, my dad was waiting and school was going to start again in a few days.
Next time I went to France was with my dad and my mum,
amazing time; I couldn’t remember my dad being so happy and my mum too.
Another time I went was with my sister and my mum, the
house of my mum was almost done and it looked Fantastic! I had an amazing time
but I felt down, down at the idea that in a few days the road to the Netherlands would come. I didn’t want… I
cried, my mum didn’t know because I cried from the inside.
And yes here we are, in Franc again, sitting on the
couch, I just saw my old house again. It was painful, I mean, I have lived there
for 13 years! I realized that here I have friends, I feel no stress, it feels
like Home. What do I have in the Netherlands actually? Nothing. I don’t feel at
home (even though my room is super cozy with all the candles and pillows), I
have no friends what so ever… and It feels stressed! …I cried. Yes I cried, in
the arms of my mother. My mother knew exactly what I meant, she had this
feeling when we moved to the Netherlands, that’s why she bought this house. I
wished I would be able to come with her always!
Although I regret the wish I made once, I wouldn’t
turn the time back. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve had quite some
experiences in the Netherlands but it made me stronger, and exactly the person
I am right know. Yes I’ve become insecure but it also made me see things I had
never seen that way. It made me a more spiritual person, and a lot stronger
then I was in the France (I used to cry at every comment someone had about me…
yeah…).
What is your Home Place?
Lots of Love
x-Joëlle
Lots of Love
x-Joëlle
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