The Monthly Journal #5: Quitting Social Media, feeling lost and The importance of taking a break

Ah yes, the monthly journal, I haven't done one of these in a while...

In august I decided to delete all my social media accounts. The only way for me to get on it was through my laptop. I must say, I have really mixed feeling now about the entire social media thing. Or more about phones... The thing is that these days it is so easy to just pick up our phones and check our Instagram or Facebook, twitter, pinterest, YouTube... Everything is literally one step away for use. 

We wake up first thing in the morning and start our day taking our phone and checking Instagram or YouTube. It's not because we love to see all these pictures , it just to wake us up, hopefully. While on the other hand you don't get to enjoy actually waking up. Then the rest of your day you feel lifeless because you don't have a life like all these people, you don't look as beautiful as them or you just don't know what to do with yourself the entire day. Your imagination dies, your creativity dies. I mean, when your bored, instead of finding a way to amuse yourself you take your phone, when you are waiting for the bus or the train, you are checking your phone because otherwise you'll look lonely. 

So I decided to DELETE ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA apps. I can't really explain what it did to me, to be honest. 

It made me realize how lost I felt. I knew I had a dream but I have always been that kind of girl that want to enjoy the moment RIGHT NOW. I hated the concept of having a goal, or a dream of what ever. For me there is a difference between having a goal and a dream. I don't know how to explain it, I just hope you understand that somehow. Having a dream just sounds also way more appealing to me. And even though I love my dream, I just want to be able to also feel happy right where I am now. But I don't. I feel satisfied when I come home from work, but when I finally have a day off I don't even enjoy having a day off. Question is why?
I love doing a lot of things, painting, filming, photographing, writing, walking, discovering, doing yoga... and yet I don't feel like doing all these things when I am free... So I end up doing nothing... 

oh....I haven't been really honest, I haven't delete YouTube from my phone, nor Pinterest. These were the only two I kept... 

And then I want to start my own business, but I can't find a suitable name... I don't feel like All Sparkling Seas is the name I should keep... It just doesn't resonate with what I want... Yes I know, another change. I changed the name because I thought I loved it better and to be honest I changed it in a moment of rush... This is what I mean, like, wtf am I doing...?! 

So yet another decision had to be made. My mother has already planned a lot of articles when she wasn't uploading, so for the month of September, I decided I would take a break. And this time, also from YouTube and Pinterest. So here I go again, Deleting all my social media apps. I want to look for real life inspiration. Now that I have work, I can maybe join a community... to learn yoga? or learn different sorts of painting, or to go to photography class... I want to be able to see real life events and let it inspire me. So this month, the month of my birthday is going to be a month of me taking a break from every social media.

I hope this wil help me figure out what I trully, from deep within want.

Let me know your story, how you feel about social media!

Very much love,
Christel Joëlle