Hello, my dear old friend,

I know I haven't written to you in a while... I've wanted to, but never really had the chance.
I miss you, I really do.
You always give me the greatest insight, even tho most of the time... I forget them.

I have a dog now, and I have been working even harder on my mental health. Last year really was bad. I still sometimes feel anxious at the idea of how depressed I actually was. It was not smart of me not to get help, especially after everything that had been going on, but I am here now.

My sister started her business in France, it's called Triquetra. the stables are already fully booked and she works a lot! I am so proud of her.
I started working as a photographer, I really want to get work as a content creator, but I haven't achieved much yet... And I started an Etsy shop, I still need to do a lot to make that work but I am determined to have sold some products by the end of the year.

I must admit that 2018 hasn't been that miraculous to me, but I do wonder how your year is going, so please write me!

I will be writing a lot more, I really want to end this year well.

That being said, I am also taking my Instagram more serious. Check it out, it's @Christel.Joëlle 

Warm hugs,
Christel Joëlle

Wauw, it has been a minute since I wrote! But I am finally coming back! I've wanted to start writing again for quite a while now, but for some unknown reason, I haven't. But today we are going to discuss social media and the fact that it is so damn addicting but also on how to finally break that nasty habit and live!



So as you may know a while back I wrote this article "Why I deleted all my social media accounts". If you haven't read that yet, GO and read it. It's basically how I have experienced it.

I have heard from many friends that they would actually love to do the same! And when I ask the simple question of "Well, Why haven't you done that yet?" they all have answers like "Yeah but I finally have this amount of followers /I could not live without it /They inspires me ...".
That last one is amazing! If social media is still something that, instead of making you miserable about your life and still keeps you inspired, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. But for so many of us, numbers have become an obsession, and we see all these other people, traveling, full of fashion and so happy, and that is what makes us feel bad.

But why do we still keep clinging to it? Well, it's as simple as the fact that we are afraid of missing out. We are afraid of not being part of a community. Something I heard a lot when I quit for two months was "You are so weird, you don't own any social media accounts?" or literally "that is crazy". But that is our fear! We don't want to be seen as weird, crazy or different. We all want to be accepted and to fit somewhere.
I was afraid of missing out mostly, I had finally gained by then around 300 followers and for me, that was a huge deal, I mean, just put that in one room! Just saying. Most people that I followed back then where travelers and nutritionist and/or photographers (can't really remember honestly), and I wanted to stay, continuously, up to date about their lives. It was an obsession.

And now would be the perfect timing to say that I have two new Instagram account again! Yeah... and I am not going to lie, some days I wonder why I got Instagram again. It is really easy to fall back into a sort of addiction. Waking up in the mornings and directly getting to my couch to sit and have a look at my feed... not the ideal. My accounts are: christel.joelle and christeljoelle_photography
One indeed purely for my photography and the other one for my spiritual, art and lifestyle journey.

Although I am going to take a one month break again (except for the weekend in Paris that I am spending with my mother). And I would like to urge every single one of you to try this out. It is game changing! If you want to know why I urge you, if you still haven't, go read my previous article.



And now the main thing, the reason you actually probably clicked on this article, how do you stay on social media but break the habit of addition? (btw I am not going to bore you with all kind of  extra explanations with it, lately, I haven't felt the need to read those either so here are just easy steps)

• First, it is Acknowledging it, but don't act on it. When you feel like taking your phone and scroll, DON'T. This is the hardest part but don't act on it, just feel. 
• I suggest deleting the entire app for a week, at least. This way you can't just give in and go on it. 
• After that week and you reinstall the app, do a cleanse, every single person you follow that doesn't thrill you, unfollow. Ask yourself if you feel inspired or not, if they make you happy, motivated or not. 
• Go through your own photo's and decide which one make you happy and inspired and delete the rest. 
• Make sure to turn off every notifications.
• Don't jump on it the first thing in the morning and evening, when you are bored try to just look around and not take your phone. If you are a planner, set a specific time where you can be on it and not. 

"Never before has a generation so diligently recorded themselves accomplishing so little." - Unknown - 

My fight with social media actually started the moment I put myself on there. A world that was too beautiful to be true from the very beginning. People sharing their 'Highlights' of life. As time continued, more people didn't only show their Highlights but also their struggles. But with all the beautiful movements (Anxiety; #Meetoo ... etc) it became a place where people show themselves off. Not necessarily always in a positive way.

Unconsciously my mind absorbed it all like a sponge desperate for water. It became an addiction, not only social media but my smartphone itself became an addiction. I catch myself looking at my phone, autotuned to look at it every hour. The urge for something, deep inside of me that is...? Afraid to miss out?

When I started becoming more mindful of my life on my phone a year ago I decided to cut it down. A path with so much resistance was and still is ahead of me. Questions rushing and collapsing in my mind driving me slowly mad. How can something so insignificant take over one person's life? Missing out on the beautiful life that is here, in our present time?

Deciding to officially delete my two Instagram accounts was like removing a piece of my soul. It felt as though I was deleting what I considered my identity. THE PLACE where I not only shared my creativity but also who I was, defining myself by the way I portrait myself on this platform. 'This is who I am'.
My mind is constantly thinking about making a new account. About new content. About all the people around the world that I would like to follow because... Because... they inspire me? Because I think that their lives are more interesting than mine? Because their photos are so on point? But in the meantime, unknowingly, I started thinking unwell of my own self.

Two and a half weeks ago I took the leap and cut out Instagram. And it already has been life-changing. I suddenly realized the importance of staring and not doing anything besides looking outside. I started creating again. Content that just came up in my mind without the need of inspiration from an online platform. That gave me confidence and great joy. While I am in France nature became more and more my playground again. Childish feelings and emotions having a place to outburst again and come to action.

Needless to say everyday my mind still thinks about picking up my phone without a reason. It thinks about the people I want to follow, but also what the best way is to keep myself safe. And these are questions I don't have real answers too. I love Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube but I feel like I am afraid. Because in a day I will go back to the Netherland. A world that is filled with materialism, distraction, and no real beautiful nature. That my being can't resist it.

For now, I will keep going, like Mark Manson say's "Even when we think we know what we are doing we actually never know what we are doing". I will keep doing yoga, meditations and not being on social media. Literally just going with the flow. Letting everything happen at its own pace and see where it brings me in a year. Not controlling over life. A journey on Finding what feels good.

With Lot's of love and light,
Christel Joëlle

Ps: I am just talking from my perspective. Just in my case, as I am an H.S.P I take everything in like a sponge. If I don't use it wisely I feel like I am becoming mad. But it's not all negative. It has so much positive and amazing features! Connecting worldwide! Amazing ways to get inspired, it is even an amzing place to learn so much! Just for me, at this time, I need a break.

Wauw, I have been blogging for 3 years already! It hasn't been easy but I am thankful for being able to share my thought somewhere. So let's look back on this year together and see what happened.

While everyone is probably saying that this was the best year of their life I don't feel that way. This year was a process of growing up and accepting that this is happening for real and letting go.
Beginning this year I was still a student who hated school, who graduated and finally was free. I had a break for 2 months and I can safely say that that was the best time of my life. I felt free, I felt happy and I finally had the feeling everything was going to fall into place.
I made a big step to decide to start my journey further into photography. Which was definitely the best decision ever! I am a very blessed girl to be able to get the gear I thought was needed for my online study. I am still fascinated by everything in photography.

Making the decision to find a job again was probably the thing that made me the most unhappy. I have a gift for choosing jobs that have super bad organization skills... even the job I am in now is not a job I am gonna stay in for forever. I don't even earn enough now to pay my gas. It is a real struggle...

A few months ago my mother and sister found a house in the Normandië and they decided to move there. I had two options, go with them or stay here. And I still don't know what to do. I don't feel complete without them, especially me and my mother, we grew so close the past few years. We started understanding each other so much better. Sometimes it feels like our lives are parallel to each other only she is older than me.
I don't know what to do because I don't know what I could do in France, but I have the same with The Netherlands.
On the other and I want to start living by myself, but I don't have the money for it, unfortunately. But that is dream that I will try to make reality next year :)

This year was the year I experienced my most happy moments and my most depressed moments. I hit rock bottom a month ago and slowly but surely I am moving up again. I have never stopped learning from my mistakes and I don't even regret them anymore. It's true, I did things this month that I am absolutely not proud of, even though I know exactly who I wanted to be, I wasn't. I could not stand on my own two feet. I am working on that.

I wish 2017 ended with a better feeling, a better note. But it doesn't matter where I am now, as long as I keep on going forward. We all know that quote "It doesn't t matter how fast you go, as long as you keep going and don't stop'. In some way, I do agree, but stopping for a moment and get back in check with yourself is so important.

So 2018, I will keep moving forward, slowly but surely. I will keep on learning and I will find my way. This year I will focus on living my own truth, actually be my own authentic me, and working towards the life I always wanted to live.

What are the dreams you will make a reality in 2018? I would love to know!
I wish you all a happy new year!
Lots of love
Christel Joëlle

While I was going through my Instagram pictures today I saw a picture where I said "Living the life I've always wanted"... Looking back at it, I really was happy! But in the past few weeks, I can't remember feeling really happy... this is what it taught me.



Don't tell my boss, but I am writing while being on my work... I just had this insight and since it is quiet here I decided to write.
You know I always hated people who were negative al the time, I still do! Because there is a fine line between being continuously unhappy and just not feeling optimal. I am not happy, I have evenings were the only thing I can do is cry because I hate everything, but you know, a lot of the times I stay optimistic because being al saby saby the entire time doesn't help you move on and work toward your dream life.
There is nothing wrong with being unhappy, but I believe that you should not only complain about it but also be grateful for it! Let me explain this ...

These moments are the times you learn the most! Just because of this simple reason. It is the moment you get the most insights because you make mistakes and you hate yourself for it, you learn to accept the facts and move on, you get yet another anxiety attack when you thought you were over that and you realize that what you are doing isn't right for you.

I can't say how often I am making the wrong choices! I beat the shit out of myself and hate myself for it. But I learn. I keep on going, try to start the next day up with a new and fresh feeling. Hoping, knowing that it is a new day and that it will go better.

It is part of life. And by feeling this emotion you will be even more be thankful for being happy again as soon as you are. A friend of mine has on what's app or Instagram a status "No Rain, No Flowers" and I couldn't agree more.

Try to see the meaning behind and I wish you lot's of luck.
Stay grateful!
Lot's of love
Christel Joëlle

Hello, all my High Sensitive Peoples! Living with roommates? Or in a student house? Oh I feel you soo much! It's fun most of the time, but he, let's be real, just between us, it can be, I mean, it is exhausting right?! But what can you do to avoid ending as a tired mess in the evening and being a party breaker?