Do What Makes You Happy

I used to live in a France, most of the time only with my mother, but since I moved to the Netherlands, I have not a single moment alone with her anymore, neither a moment that I am totally alone in the house, and sometimes you just need a timeout.

My mother and I are very close.But since we moved to the Netherlands and the whole families got back together in one house, it was a use changement that whent to fast for me. My mom got very busy with al the drama playing around and had to give attention not only to me anymore but also to my brother, my father and my sister. I never realized how I felt until this holiday. I knew that I wasn't happy but I didn't knew what I was missing. But I was missing the silence, a quiet home where I could easily talk very quiet without having to repeat it 10 times before someone understood me, I missed the space (I used to live in a big farm actually and now I live in a much smaller farm), I felt like a prisoner in my own room. And I couldn't talk to anybody, my mom was busy, my sister wouldn't care, neither my brother nor father. I had no friends to talk to and I had the impression that I was an Alien on earth... ever felt like that?

Two years later and I still feel like an Alien on earth, and I still don't have someone that I can really call a friend. But I don't feel alone anymore and I don't feel like a prisoner in my own room, and I finally got used to the situation home and know how to deal with it.

When I feel down or lonely I take a walk, even when it's raining. Sometimes I go on a walk with my horse, and sometimes I jog every bit of down emotion out of me.
A view day's ago I asked my mother something before heading to bed, I asked her if she wanted to go with my to a coffeehouse and watch people, and she said yes. We talked about so much and it felt so good, we also didn't talk and just enjoyed the sun and watching the people. Then heading home she said “let's do this more often but then without talking about the problems we have” And I was like “Definitely”. I know that probably she will be busy a lot of time, but when it's a good moment to ask her, i'll ask again.
Going alone to your Holly Grail place is just amazing. I never show my Holly Grail place to anyone, it would totally destroy the energy that is there. Only if it's a person I trust and love.
I found that one thing that makes me escape from the real world is blogging and reading blogs, or books.

And Always remember that you are totally worth living for!
 tips?