Okay... I am having this youtube music mix on, Weekend Relaxation... like... it's Tuesday... Whatever. Not the point of this article. You  We as bloggers only show you what we want you to read/see. And very often we censor ourselves. We write things down... delete it... start over again. 

Today's blog is an article that shows the exact opposite. 

This is what happens in my brain while writing for an article.

Damn this music is really chill.... 

Okay so let's talk about love, okay no forget I said that. I don't really have anything interesting to tell you. but like, people judge people who lost their virginity at an early age but why? It all depends on how the situation is... right?! 

What picture will I add to this article... oh hey another brainwave....

Would that bird still be there? No, what a shame... okay focus again... focus...

Okay, this leads to nothing interesting... I'll delete it all. But what will I write about then? My life? My art? 

Oh, my art that isn't a bad idea actually. I could tell people why I paint? Who inspired me? What they mean! Yes, that is an article idea. 

maybe I should make an article about

Trying to come up with ideas for an article, painting, youtube video isn't always easy... so often, like today, I have a writer's block. And there truly is, for me, no other way then just start writing... and I am on my own experiment of writing, uncensored what I think. Like right now. This is how I get my ideas when I don't know what to write. I just start randomly, and I'll come all of the sudden with an idea... because as I once heard in a movie, sometimes the bad ideas are the one's that turn out to be the best. 

*checking grammar... Oh I am so bad at this...* 

I love fall so much, with the yellow leaves falling from the tree, the burning red of some other trees...

I know this article is so random, but at least I could show you how a process of creating works for me. 

With all my love,

Christel Joëlle  

Listening to: Weekend Relaxation [Jazzhop / HipHop / Chillhop]

And we are back with another monthly journal. Hello November! Nice to see... I mean, feel you! Cold weather, storms and the occasional sunshine accompanied with the northern wind. Welcome back. But October was intense and you, dear November are about to be rough on me emotionally, I know it and I feel it. 

Growing up....
When you are young, you dream about making your own decisions, living in your own home, have a dream job, and living the happy adult life. While growing up I wish the exact opposite. I long for the moments where I could lay in the arms of my mother or father, feeling their warmth, listening to their heartbeats in the evening. Not having to worry about anything.
And I wonder, is it for us, adults, grown-ups able to keep that childish look at life? I believe we can, we just have to figure out how. Here on soon another article that is in collaboration with my mother.
The reason I say November is going to be tough for me is because my mom and sister are moving to France, 6 hours away from me... and I love my mother and I wish I could go with them but I just started feeling home in The Netherland, I got a job, I got friends... I got the rest of my family here...
But I know I will miss my mother and sister terribly...
Things are changing and even though I know I will not be able to turn back time, I know that this part of my life will bring me a lot more knowledge. I know it will not always be easy, but I know that I have internet and mobile phones, and so I can still be in touch with them.
I have said so often "I am not ready for this!" but last time I had this insight... maybe not being ready is the best way to learn. 

Physical Health ...

For two months straight I have been exhausted. I felt mentally and physically tired. First I thought that it was my body who was re-adjusting itself from the fatiguing moments I had at school. But two months later still feeling tired made me worried. I was planning on testing my blood for a long time but I was... scared? I neglected that idea for soooo long. Until my mother planned to test her blood and I decided that that was also the moment for me. The result where negative, my blood was clean. I was so confused... what could it be? I haven't worked, I had no job, I was fully trying to recover. Or so I thought. I came to the conclusion that not doing anything is not good. As humans, even if you are a loner like me, we need to be around other humans. Then there happens this exchange of energies, thoughts, unconsciously. And being with one person can for us, introverts, be very exhausting while going out on our own can be very inspiring and reenergizing. I noticed that working part-time got my energy higher. I noticed that eating healthy, doing cardio and yoga once a week, drinking a lot of water and meeting on the occasional my friends really get me going. And I notice even more that slowing down has brought me far.

So hey, here was a little update on why I have been missing in action. 

Lots of love,

Christel Joëlle